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Alphabetizing Your Life

Mar 1, 2021

Harry Styles has four nipples (a.k.a. nollywobbles), you’ve been saying Nevada wrong your entire life and your mattress could be key to surviving doomsday.

Joshua and Scott also navigate nuclear threats, New Year’s resolutions, navels, noses, nutmeg, narwhals and naming sound effects.

Nov 30, 2020

Non-consenting taste bud violation is a real thing, destroying a historical masterpiece could score you lucrative merchandising rights, and 41% of Americans — Joshua included — believe humans and dinosaurs “definitely or probably” coexisted on Earth.

Scott and Joshua also mull over the Mars Science...

Apr 28, 2020

Your grandmother used to pump poison into her lady bits, left-handed people are oft vilified (and we’re no exception) and you should probably be washing your legs more than you think… maybe.

The loquacious duo also lament over lower-case letters, lullabies, Lysol, laugh tracks and last meals.

Nov 9, 2019

Koalas will throw your ass out of a tree if you reject their advances, China’s taking all of our chicken and killer bees really dislike evening wear and nice jewelry. 

Scott and Joshua also kvetch about kitty litter, KFC, kosher, knock on wood, kiwis and words that start with “kn.”

Jul 19, 2019

Replace your morning OJ with a handful of jalapeños, get your affairs in order because there’s a high probability you’ll shit the bed on January 1st and all hail Judge Judy, mistress of justice and money.

Scott and Joshua also jabber on about Jäegermeister, jobs, jokes, jaywalking and other pleasant words that...